Letter to Richard - 28 April 2013

I look forward to the time that I can start my letter “Wow, that was a nice quiet week…” Maybe one day J

The cold that was getting everyone else in the family finally got me this past week, but I’m better already! I just had one really bad day, but then the kids were starting to get better, until this morning when the runny noses started again L It’s never ending!!!

I did all of my visiting teaching last week. Last week of the month, I know… but it’s all done now at least. I have a day round, so I do a visit on the way to work, or on the way home… So fitting in 4 visits (and you may or may not know that visiting teaching tends to be longer than home teaching :P) can be quite a challenge. But I got 100% visits again! Mom, who is my companion, was having a bad week, so I didn’t even really tell her I was going.

4 of my 5 visits are to older, retired sisters, and I just love sitting and listening to their stories and experiences. They have so much wisdom and experience to share!

Sis Lillian Cerff is going for an operation mid-May to remove two cancerous lumps, from her back and leg. She is 96 already, so every time something happens there is the question of if this is the last. But for now she’s still here, and for the most part, still lucid and able to spend quality time with Sis Pam.

Carine Tshiama had an operation yesterday to remove fibroids from her uterus (the reason she was so sick with her pregnancy with Jessica), Debbie Moody was in hospital for tests, Merle Nel (Minnie’s mom) was in hospital for tests… Crazy week!

Josh had his first proper swimming lesson this week in a while, because of being sick. He cried at first, until I left and went outside, and then he settled, and swam BEAUTIFULLY!!! Hannah and Caleb won’t swim again until spring.

Josh also had a play date at Connor’s house, with Dane also going. So a big group with lots of fun. And when I fetched him Hannah and Caleb had all sorts of fun playing there as well!

The kids and I all went for flu shots on Thursday. And I was so proud of them for how brave they all were! Josh and Hannah were reluctant, for sure, but they all did the briefest cry, and then calmed down super fast J

I finally had my birthday cake today! We went and shared it over the road, and the kids just loved the sugar rush J

My cool thought for the week is from Sunday School and sacrament meeting yesterday (and then a bit of me too J): The scriptures aren't worth anything unless we open them. The more we show we want to apply and learn the more will be shown to us. And linking that to what Elder Holland said in the April conference: “The size of your faith or the degree of your knowledge is not the issue—it is the integrity you demonstrate toward the faith you do have and the truth you already know.” So the more we know the more we will be trusted with, but then of course more is required of us… Quite a responsibility!

So that’s the hectic week… It may not sound like much, but the day to day stuff just doesn’t slow down!

It was so cool to see the photos of your boarding and where you’re staying. Can’t wait to hear and see more J

Love you lots!

Shelly

Letter to Richard - special Stake Conference

Dear Richard

Well the good news is that I still have my husband in the ward!!! JJJ And I’m really excited about the new stake presidency – Ryan Holmes, Paul Kruger and Noel Nyoni. Andrew went for an interview yesterday with Elder Carl B. Cook and Elder van Rheenen. He says Elder Cook is an incredibly nice man, which I also saw when he spoke at conference today. From what Andrew says it’s a really nice process to be part of. He was the last interview of the day, and they asked him all sorts of questions about Pres Holmes and one other brother they were seriously considering. But our stake is in good hands, and I fully expect that we’ll be on track for splitting the stake this year. Elder Cook challenged us today to each individually, or as families, to try and get back one person who is less active. His promise was that if we do that we won’t have to worry about splitting the stake – it will happen automatically. And I’m busy reading in the February Ensign, and there’s a Q&A on how to come back from being less active. I’m going to give a copy of that to Sis Marie that I visit teach. She’s wanting to come back, and has even accepted a visiting teaching round. Hopefully there will be something in there to help her come back fully.

A great quote in another section of the Feb Ensign is:

“We can choose whether or not our obedience will change us.” Pretty powerful, I think!

I’ve been lecturing the first year students who did accounting at school this week for the first time. And I’ve really been enjoying it! And the best part was today I had a young girl come up to me that I didn’t recognise. It turns out she’s one of the students, and she and her friend have been commenting on how happy I always am, and how weird it is. And she’s so excited to now see that I’m a member, and it all makes sense now J Her friend is actually meeting with the missionaries, and she said she couldn’t wait to phone her and tell her why I’m so happy! So I’m also doing some missionary work, but just by how I’m living J I think this is actually the first time that I’ve ever known that someone saw something different in me, and it’s so cool to know that there is something to see! I feel like I’ve been making some positive improvements in the last 6 months or so, though. I had been cruising for a while, but I’ve been doing things like writing in my journal again, doing better with my morning prayers, and since stake conference I’ve been alternating reading a secular book with reading something spiritual, like the Ensign, or I want to also borrow some Church books from members in the ward. And I think all of those things are definitely helping to lift me overall J

We had more sick kids this week L Josh had to stay home from school on Wednesday, and I kept Caleb home from a missionary fireside this evening, and the whole week there’s been at least an edge of a cold if not a full blown cold for everyone… At some stage we’ll all get healthy!

I don’t know if you’re aware of news at all, but there was a bombing incident at the Boston marathon this week, with I think 13 people killed, and nearly 180 injured. The US also had an explosion at a fertiliser plant in Texas, so a bad week for them L Margaret Thatcher was buried this week. And here in Cape Town we had a HUGE storm this week! For the first time in ages we had the Black River and Liesbeeck Rivers bursting their banks. It was intense!!!

On Friday morning I had Josh in tears again because he didn’t want to go to school. I managed to get out of him that he was scared to play outside because a couple kids are bullying him, and also he doesn’t want to talk in front of the class. I spoke to the school manager, and she said she would talk to him and try and get details and also just understand how he’s feeling. And I was so impressed with how it was all handled! She phoned me afterwards to give me feedback, and then when I went to fetch Josh the preschool teacher spoke to me and said she’d been speaking to Josh’s teacher, and they’ve got a plan to prevent the bullying, and also they’re going to let him do his orals and other talking one-on-one with his teacher and gradually build up his confidence to a small group and eventually the whole class. I’m so grateful that they are taking such a personal interest in him, and they really care!

Josh then went home with Dane on Friday afternoon and they went to watch The Croods (Dane is the one who went with to watch the movie with all of us before you left), and on Saturday Josh also went to a birthday party, and Dane was there as well. So I think Josh has ended up having a really positive weekend. Now we’re just hoping and praying that he will be able to handle going to school tomorrow!

My last thing to share also happened at conference today. Before conference started I heard a sister sitting behind us, who is visiting from Joburg, bad-mouthing Elder van Rheenen, based on things she knows about his from his younger years, and basically saying he shouldn’t be an Area Authority (She didn't say what he's supposed to have done - probably nothing major, just her opinion...). I wished I hadn’t heard what she said, but I did. And here’s an example of why gossiping is so bad (although this does have a happy ending for me). When he got up to speak I couldn’t get what she said out of my head, so it was a battle for me to be thinking of him as an Area Authority. So I did some serious praying, asking for me to have it confirmed to me that he really has been called of God, and he’s right to be fulfilling this calling. At first I didn’t really feel any comfort, but then towards the end of his talk I did start feeling the spirit quite strongly, and then he spoke about how we are each given specific challenges to overcome to help us grow. And as he said that the Spirit witnessed so strongly to me that this right here was a challenge for me to overcome, and that he definitely has been called by God to fulfil this calling, and we can sustain him. The reality is that all of us have made mistakes, that, if we didn’t use the atonement and repent, would preclude us from really serving anywhere. But if we have repented, then we can have an opportunity to start over, and the people around us also have to accept that we’ve repented, been forgiven, and can now serve wherever Heavenly Father sees fit to call us. So I can happily accept Elder van Rheenen in his calling as an Area Authority, and I am glad that I could have this whole experience! My testimony is actually stronger for it J

So in general life is good, and yes, I am a happy person, and in large part because of the gospel! I wouldn’t want my life any other way!

Love you lots, hope to get lots of photos this week :P

Shelly

Letter to Richard - 30th birthday and sick kids

Dear Richard

So I’ve been trying really hard to get the kids to also come and write something to you, but with Josh, he just wants to be working on the keyboard as well. So firstly he’ll want me to show him which keys to press, then he’ll find the letters in his own name and type it (he can type his whole name like that), then he went to the number pad and was typing all the numbers to 20, and then he just goes crazy, and actually ended up deleting everything constructive that he’d typed… But he’s just so excited about being able to be typing things that he can’t focus on the task at hand.

I think with both of them it will be easier to get them involved when you are able to start sending some photos – that will make everything more real to them, and I’m sure they’ll want to be telling you what they’ve been doing.

And what have we been doing… Right now all that stands out in my mind is dealing with sick kids L Right now I am once again the only healthy one in my family… I had to fetch Hannah early from school on Friday, and although we went to a stake Primary activity and to Fish Hoek for a braai for my birthday, we really shouldn’t have… the kids were pretty sick, and Andrew was getting more and more sick. So I then ended up staying home from church today with all 3. Anyone who thinks that staying home from church is a holiday doesn’t know WHAT they’re talking about! I did a short primary type thing with them when Caleb was sleeping this morning, and we did other quiet things like colouring in, watching a Sunday movie and stuff. But the downside of that is that Josh was bursting with unspent energy by the end of the day… But we got them off to sleep finally  with minimum fuss.

So what else happened…? Well there was my birthday on Friday. And I must be honest it actually was a bit of a flop on the whole. It started off great, with great presents from Andrew and the kids – the latest Josh Groban CD, a great book, a pretty plant for my office (chosen by Josh), a new water bottle (chosen and initiated by Josh) and socks (chosen and initiated by Hannah). So those were all really great and thoughtful. And people at work remembered, and that was all great. But then I got called to come and fetch a sick Hannah, and we did still go out in the evening to watch A Handful of Keys, but we were super rushed to leave, Mom pulled out at the last moment, and we had to rush to find someone to take her place (Sis Jean came and really enjoyed it) and then between going via UCT to fetch Andrew’s parents and Amanda, an accident and just general chaos, we only just make it on time… But at least we really enjoyed the show, and I got a CD autographed by the performers (Jonathan Roxmouth and Ian von Nemety) for Mom, so that was cool. But I did NOT enjoy that rush to get there. And then we were going to do a picnic yesterday, but decided to cancel it because of the stake primary activity. We were going to do cake and scones this afternoon, and had to cancel it because of sick kids. And Andrew was going to buy me a tablet, but we decided to wait because it just wasn’t practical to make it happen now… So on balance it wasn’t my best. And as my 30^th, it was supposed to be a nice one. But I guess that’s just how life goes… We’ll go with: You weren’t here, so your awesomeness couldn’t radiate to make the whole thing wonderful J

But the whole week wasn’t disastrous. On Monday morning Andrew and I decided we needed to talk to someone that’s been doing some stupid things. It had to be done urgently, so we made the decision to have the talk in the morning for that evening when Andrew got home from work. I decided to fast, for guidance in how we led in the discussion, and trying to do the whole thing with love, instead of the initial anger I had been feeling when I found out about what this individual was doing… And my prayers and fasting were certainly answered! The discussion went really well, and from the reports during the week from people who know, the individual has been choosing better now, and even looks better! We are SO glad, I can’t even tell you!

I recently had an insight into how fasting works. There is of course the side of it which is letting your spiritual side control your physical side, which puts you more in tune with the Spirit. But I’ve never really felt that working so well for me… My physical side never stops complaining about being ignored, and I’m not really left with a happy feeling. But if you think about fasting as a sacrifice, then it takes on a different light. So I realised that if I sacrifice eating and drinking, then I can go to the Lord and say, “Look, I have been willing to sacrifice this. Please honour my sacrifice by giving me the help that I need”. It’s the one thing that we can put on the table when we are asking for help. Otherwise we are not offering anything in return for the help of whatever kind we are requesting. And so when I fasted on Monday I did it with this in mind, and then I was so much better able to bring the physical side of me under control, and my prayers were answered, WITHOUT a doubt! It was actually a great experience!

On Thursday we had Susan over. She actually did the cooking for us, and then helped me putting the kids to bed after Andrew went off to youth. The kids really enjoyed a new face, but I think she was exhausted by the end of the evening! I guess I forget how much we actually do. And of course we did build up to this gradually over the last 5 years. So coming in the deep end must be quite a shock!

Oh, and I was called as the education specialist today, the calling that Elaine Ruck held last year before she left the ward. I’m going to miss teaching in Relief Society, but I think this is going to be a cool challenge!

So that’s about it. I’m REALLY looking forward to hearing more about what you’re doing, and seeing some photos!

Keep well, love you lots J

Shelly

Letter to Richard - Joshua's birthday and General Conference

Dear Uncle Richard

I love you Uncle Richard on your miiissssion. (Josh helped typing here...)

I played with my animals. I was busy doing things on my truck that I got for my birthday. My presents were: a Batman car thing (that I played with lots), a truck that carried motor bikes, Uncle Andrew helped me build my lego animals that I got, a Dinosaur movie (that I’ve watched LOTS), a dinosaur skeleton that I had to dig out of the sand, and it was breaking a bit, and I had to put it together.

I had a skeleton dinosaur party, and I had the face of the cake.

We went on a boat in the lake with Uncle Ron yesterday.

We’ve been watching conference. We watch conference so that we can learn and do the right things for Jesus.

Love from

Joshua

Grrr8;iumhjjjjjjjjoshhuajfgjguadjutqdhayffdfhuishfy7shadjt65,jhfdshwq                                                                      

Dear uncle Richard

(What do you want to tell Uncle Richard?) I’m cold. (What else?) Nothing. (What did you do at school this week?) I painted at school, I played. Today I played with chalk outside.

Bye

Hannah  123459789                jglohkouiujfrekgo fjgnoblhgkp0hbkl[gpb,kiolvnjgk;n rjeoglprjnfgdbvj lh. Kl nkjfkbjhn.,khbmnblknmjbklnm.n, mvbknmglkhmnhkjnkhlknmlkbknopbvkpobflblgbl,n’;hg,nohkgjo’p.hpnbjgothihytoy0m6uhig0rmthkjohhigfibjgbhfdovfuodvikdfo;of vdfvufibmd .yr0 nc lvbwen cm

 (She does love you, promise! Just in a mood ;o))

Dear Richard

What a busy week! It’s amazing how much effort it takes on the part of the parents to make a birthday party and birthday happen… Definitely not enough sleep happened this week! (Richard, Andrew here, when Shelly and I started dating her and Carla would email me, and one of them would always insert comments in brackets if I remember correctly it may have been Shelly. Anyway, I think unless I have something specifically that I want to write to you I will rather just throw a comment or two into what Shelly has already put together)

But Joshua’s party and birthday seem to have gone well, and he is now officially 5! (In case you did not know we had a whole dinosaur theme going, everything you can think of dinosaur egg piñata, dinosaur fossil cake, dinosaur jelly sweets, dinosaur toy party favours, dinosaur biscuit party packs. Joshua is going to be very happy one day to find out from Heavenly Father how dinosaurs existed etc.)

Otherwise, on my part I seem to be spending my life marking essays and test papers at the moment. I’m about half way through the marking I have to do for both, but it’s taking a lot out of me… I can’t wait for it to be finished! (from my side I seem to be spending my time at work disciplining staff).

Yesterday morning we went to Sandvlei with Uncle Ron and Pamela to go paddling. You can imagine quite easily the fact that I actually spent the whole time on the shore watching, but Andrew paddled with all 3 kids in different combinations, and despite being a bit cautious about the whole thing, well cautiously excited, they did all enjoy it. Actually, Caleb wasn’t cautious at all – he’s always keen to try something new ;o) (We checked the weather report, it indicated a perfect opportunity for the kids first time out on the water, so I am sure you will not be surprized that when we got there it proceeded to rain, and then become very windy – still it was fun!)

And then General Conference. One testimony that conference is something that we’re supposed to watch is the way our children seem to become possessed with an evil spirit every time conference comes around… They literally are worse behaved and more completely out of control for conference than any other time for the kind of block of time. Crazy! (Although both Joshua and Hannah both asked at various times to watch conference. I think that they do feel something, and do understand that something important is happening, but then they give into the enticing’s of the evil one after thatJ)

But we did get to watch a bit, some more effectively than others. But for the first time I really came with questions in mind that I need answers to – mainly around how we can help a few people in our lives - including Mom and Joshua, who are struggling with things. So how can we be a blessing to them. And it was amazing how there were so many talks that had things that I’ve made a note to come back to once the transcripts are available. I think I’m definitely going to be able to get some solid direction, particularly with one of the people that is having a much more serious problem that we know about. (For me the time we spent watching was not as effective, so I will need to spend some time catching up so that I can arrange for 4^th Sunday lesson topics from conference and speaking assignments from conference too)

And the main message I’ve taken away from this conference is the importance of doing things the Lord’s way, and being obedient. Obedience is the challenge of mortality as President Monson said…

And of course President Giddey being called as an Area Authority Seventy. So 21 April we’re having a special stake conference where a new stake president will be called. I think it’s great that you were able to leave before this all happened, so you were set apart by President Giddey, considering he’s the one that took you through the whole process ;o)

And that’s about it. But the week ahead is going to be interesting… Richard, I’m going to be old on Friday! Just in case you forgot ;o) (I still have to find appropriate 30^th birthday presents)

Hope you’re settling in wonderfully! But I’d be surprised to hear anything else ;o) (we are still going to milk your mission for all its worth, the whole sending the ward on mission with you thing is still going to gain some momentum I hope, and then I hope to be able to use some of your experiences as we start hearing about them to excite the young guys about going on mission)

Love you lots!

Shelly and the family

Joshua's 5th birthday

My little boy turned 5 this week! There's a part of me that still can't believe it, but in other ways he's so grown up that it all makes sense...

Josh is really into dinosaurs right now, so we had a dinosaur themed party. With being Easter weekend just before his birthday we had his party on Easter Monday.

Cindy and I made the cake, with me baking it and doing the easy decorating, and Cindy, with Josh's help doing the difficult stuff... Josh did the dinosaur's legs, spine and tail! (the photos have all uploaded weird, so you'll have to turn your head to see some of them...)

 The completed masterpiece!

Complete with 5 candles

Clint and Amanda made amazing pinatas for us again. Because there was no way Josh was going to let this beautiful dinosaur be smashed to pieces they also made a dinosaur egg that the boys took great delight in cracking open!

Caleb didn't have a place set at the table, but he definitely felt he deserved one. We'll have to make sure that for Hannah's party and all future parties he doesn't get excluded!

The weather didn't cooperate (but it was the Easter weekend in Cape Town after all...) But thankfully we have a carport now, so we got a small jumping castle that fitted nicely under the shelter, and worked wonders for the boys working off some energy!

 Time for the party snacks!

And pass the parcel. This was the first time that any of these boys had played pass the parcel, but it went quite well.

Josh did the first cut of the cake, and he wanted the head! He cut right around the head ;o)

What worked out really well is that all the boys wanted a specific part of the skeleton, but they all got what they wanted without any fights!

And then for Joshua's actual birthday he wanted to take dinosaur biscuits to school. So guess who was up till 12:30 making dinosaurs!

 And then the big day! This was Joshua's favourite present! A dinosaur skeleton fossil excavation kit ;o) Right up his scientist mind alley

We also gave him some lego and a few other odds and ends.

When he got home from school he wanted to get right into the skeleton!

Our house was covered with this white chalky dust! But he had lots of fun, and that dinosaur skeleton has been a big part of his life over the last few days!

And that's our big 5 year old!

Caleb moments - March 2013 (12 - 13 months)

Caleb is SUCH a sweet child! He constantly wants to be copying what the older kids are doing, like he’s taken a liking to going and sitting on the potty and looking all pleased with himself.

He’s also starting to say a few things:

·         He comes into the bathroom, handing me his toothbrush and say “mama here”

·         At the beginning of Horton hears a Who, where the ball of fluff starts going on its trip he pointed and said “ba”

·         He is saying ma and da all the time, although he doesn’t have proper and consistent names for Josh and Hannah. He does always get a big grin on his face though if he sees them, and at one stage he was making a kissing noise if he saw Hannah J

He really loves music, and he’ll dance and clap his hands, and will also almost always try and sing with. He’s also really fascinated with pianos etc, and when he realised that the piano in the Relief Society room could make music he wouldn’t stay away! He also likes to play coy with the sisters – he’ll peek at them from behind the board, or chairs, looking all serious at first, until he can’t stop smiling his shy smile. And usually he’ll end up with a full on chuckle!

He likes leaning forward when he's sitting in his chair to touch my forehead. Again and again.

He knows that things have their place and likes to put them there, like putting his toothbrush in the basin.

He’s started wanting attention for himself, and one thing he does is fetching a book and bringing it to me to read. Then he’ll go and fetch another one J

He likes leaning back against the wall, or leaning right over backwards on the couch, and then looking at you and just grinning!

Andrew, Josh and Hannah came up with a name for him - Mr Maker, ie Mr Troublemaker… And he certainly can be a troublemaker! He is constantly getting into EVERYTHING, pulling things off or out, trying to get everywhere. But it’s so hard to be mad at him when he gives you that smile! SUCH a cute child!!!

Caleb's hair was all spiky, but just look at the gorgeous face!

He had a pen and was randomly drawing on me, but look at what came out!

Joshua moments - March 2013

Josh is really enjoying copying writing, and he often asks how to write words so he can copy them.

It's lovely to see Josh and Hannah talking to each other, and having real conversations. And sometimes he'll even try to reason with Hannah on our behalf when she isn't wanting to do what we're asking.

He is praying beautifully on his own. He is very thoughtful of other people and what is relevant. One funny thing is that he'll often say: "Please help us to wake up in the morning and not be grumpy" (He came up with that one completely on his own!)

He loves singing along to music, although he often will whispser, even if it's just the family. He especially loves "Close your Eyes" by Ed Jordan from the Beautiful Creatures CD.

He loves reciting rhymes from school, and he'll recite them very confidently. And he knows SO many!

Fixing the house for us:

 March was a month of many parties! Tylor's party:

 Reece's pirate party:

 He created an undersea scene with the felt cut shapes.

 Josh copies this out of a story book: "At last he entered the room..." For the second line he started right to left, and then gravitated mainly to the right side. But he's so keen to be writing!

 He wrote these numbers completely by memory.