Letter to Richard - 17 March 2014

Dear Richard

I was telling the kids this morning (before your email came through reminding us) that Friday is 1 year since you left. It has gone quickly!

I was lecturing last week, and I feel like it was one of my best sets of lectures ever J We also had a student evaluation that was done last week, and all of the comments about the teaching and lectures were very positive! I feel like things are really going well in my course right now J I also had one of the more experienced lecturers visiting my lecture to give some feedback, and I think she was largely happy with what she saw. I’ll be getting some more detailed feedback from her later this week. My tutoring is also going really well at the moment – I feel like I’m making progress with my teaching in general J

We’ve started planning for Joshua’s birthday party, and we made good progress on sorting out the kids rooms this week J The bedroom is pretty much sorted out, with all of the kids clothes being moved over, and we’ve moved all of the puzzles and games from the shelves in the lounge into the cupboard in the playroom. Things are coming together! I want to do a few more things to help organise the playroom, but I’m happy with how things are working out J

We had a couple of friends over for the kids to play with on Friday – one in Joshua’s class and one in Hannah’s class. We’re trying to help Hannah to settle into her new class, and she’s taking a while! But she did end up interacting well with her friend, and I think it was a success in the end J Then we also went to a party on Saturday where all 3 of the kids were invited, and that was fun ;)

Caleb’s been really sick yesterday and today and we kept him home from church and school… Mom stayed with him yesterday, because I was teaching in Sunday School, and then Andrew and I took turns today staying home from work. We’re really hoping it doesn’t spread to the rest of us! But church was so easy with only a 5 and 3 year old J And Josh and Hannah behave so well in sacrament meeting when Caleb isn’t there to distract them ;) And church was just really great in terms of all of the lessons and talks as well! In RS we were talking about the sacrament and I felt the spirit so strongly the whole way through! In Sunday School we were talking about Isaac and Jacob and instant vs eternal gratification closely linked to marrying in the covenant. I feel like the YSA were benefitted by the lesson. And then in sacrament the talks were all on family home evening, and some ideas of what we can do.

For FHE today Josh shared some of the things he’s been learning in Primary, and then Hannah also wanted a chance to talk about what she knows about Jesus and then Caleb also just wanted a turn to show us a book or picture. It was a really cool lesson J

Anyway, that’s us for this week!

Love you lots, keep well!

Shelly

Letter to Richard - 10 March 2014

Dear Richard

A very busy first week with Andrew’s new calling… But that’s mainly because he’ll still be bishop for a bit longer at the same time… But he tells me that they’ve signed the recommendation that is sent to the Area Office and then on to the First Presidency. And Elder Renlund did tell us that the recommendation will be looked at as a high priority in this case, so hopefully soon! But one thing that I have noticed is that I’m feeling a higher level of spirituality, which is something else that we were promised as a family when Andrew was set apart. So that’s been great!

For my course this year I’ve implemented something new, where the students are going to all have turns to present parts of the tutorials. So this week in tuts we had the first few presentations. In 2 of the groups the students did really well – they were interactive and entertaining, just a really great start! I’m very excited to see how this part of the course plays out J

We had load shedding last week, for the first time since 2008! Apparently there has been really intense rain over Gauteng, and their coal reserves are wet and they just can’t get them dry… My personal experience was that the power was off from 12:00 to 14:00 on campus, so I did some marking. Then I finished that just after the power came back on, but I left to go do the groceries. But the power was off in Plattekloof. Thankfully Pick n Pay has a generator, so I could still do the shopping, but in a dimly lit store… Then as I’m driving along Plattekloof Road towards Bothasig I saw the traffic lights ahead of me switch off, and I was into my 3^rd consecutive load shedding zone! Quite unbelievable how that worked out! But it was just the one day, and the power has been stable since then, although the supply is tight.

We had fast weekend this past weekend because of having stake conference on the first Sunday. We had a family fast for Mom, because her tremor and speech have been getting worse, and the specialist she saw also doesn’t know what the cause is, or what to do to sort it out… So we fasted that the group of doctors she’ll be seeing this week will have some inspiration of what to do to help her, and for healing! We came together for Mom to have a blessing yesterday afternoon, and Andrew felt good about the promises that were made to her. Our prayers were answered the last time we had a fast for Mom – she is SO much better with her mental health now! So it’s trusting that Heavenly Father can heal her now, and waiting to learn what His will is for her.

We had an awesome Sunday School lesson on Sunday! It was on Abraham and Isaac, and those that were in the class really benefitted from it! My favourite part was at the end where we spoke about how we each find ourselves in the position of the different characters at different times in our lives – sometimes we like Abraham, having to pass through a difficult test and having to trust that the Lord knows what is best for us, or like Sarah being the spouse waiting at home, or like the angel coming and being a blessing in the lives of people who are needing it, or like Isaac, where we would be sacrificed or damned and we are powerless to stop it, but Heavenly Father has provided His Lamb so that we can be saved from that result. It was very powerful having the class coming to understand that J I’m really enjoying this calling!

So that’s about it, but busy as always… And of course the busyness is set to continue, but that’s just the reality of life ;)

It’s so great to hear how great things are going for you though – we’re so happy to know that you’re serving so willingly and faithfully J I was telling Hannah that you’re just about half way, and she started telling me all sorts of stories, in her usual way, but she told me that she misses you. So even if all of your friends are on mission when you get back, you’ll have one person who’ll be VERY happy to spend time with you ;) And the rest of us will be right behind her :P

Love you lots!

Shelly

Letter to Richard - 3 March 2014 (Historic Stake Conference)

Dear Richard

Well, yesterday was the day that Andrew was sustained in the stake presidency… It was certainly a hectic weekend! Saturday morning at 10:00 Andrew went for an interview, like all the other bishops and high councilors in our new stake did. Then at about 13:00 Pres Holmes called Andrew to say a new stake president had been called, and we needed to come up to the chapel. So at least we knew he wasn’t being called as stake president… We get to the chapel, after organising for our kids to be looked after, and Andrew and then I separately meet with Elders Renlund and Giddey, one after the other, and then they called us both in together. And they extended the call to Andrew to be the second counsellor in the new stake presidency… It was quite something to hear their confidence in him. They said while they were interviewing him earlier they had felt that he could really do any calling that was given to him (yes!) and that many of the other brethren who were interviewed spoke very highly of him (to which he was so shocked!) Elder Giddey was the one who originally called Andrew as bishop, and he spoke about how intimidated we had been as a young family of accepting that call, and now he was part of extending this call. He was really happy for Andrew, to see how he has grown and to see that he’s ready for this. It was really special to have Elder Giddey involved in the reorganisation of the stakes, because he was such an integral part of getting us to this point.

Saturday I then went to the adult session of conference, while Andrew looked after the kids (the last time we can do that…) but the whole time it all felt very unreal. And I hate the time between when a big called is extended and when it’s made public. When Andrew was called as bishop it was a few weeks, so at least this was less than 24 hours. It’s really horrible carrying this around!

Sunday morning we had training with the 6 members of the new presidencies and their wives, which was conducted by Elders Renlund and Elder Giddey again, with their wives as well. I can see how important it is in any leadership situation, but especially in the church, for the leaders to have come up through the ranks. Then when they say that this is what it’s like, you can trust them that they actually know what they’re talking about. And it was great to hear the wives’ experiences. I have lots to learn! There’s a certain feeling of it still not being real… But Sis Betsie Kruger said to me so many times that she’s so glad that I’m there with them now – it’s nice to feel wanted for me, not just because I’m Andrew’s wife J

Like I mentioned in my email to you I still had quite an anxious feeling right up until Andrew was actually set apart after conference. It wasn’t a feeling of not thinking the call was right or anything, I think it was really just anxiety about how we were going to manage it. The kids really struggled through the conference session, and I spent most of it outside, and a lot of it in tears – there were just so many emotions going through me, and children who just refused to behave was just too much! (I’ve also never seen as many adults crying, except for at a funeral, as at that training – even the men were very emotional! But the spirit will do that to you as well and the enormity of what we were all taking on…) But when Andrew was set apart I then felt the spirit completely confirming to me that this is right, and this is truly a call from God, and there was no hint of the anxiety that had also been hanging around in the background up to then. So that doesn’t mean I’m completely confident that we’re going to just sail through this – I know that there are going to be challenges – but there’s a much more positive feeling now. And seeing how many messages both Andrew and I have been getting, and all of the excitement, has also helped to buoy me up. There are so many people, not only in our ward, who really love Andrew. I think that he didn’t realise at all until now. I’m happy that he’s getting to see that now! It’s funny how people are talking about me as well, and I really don’t feel that I’m doing anything that extraordinary. I’m trying to do the right things, but I know that I’m so far from doing it right all the time. But I’ve also had quite a few people, including Elder Giddey, who are being very positive about me. I guess that also helps to lighten the burden J

Okay, so I think that’s enough of an essay about all of that. We’ll be seeing in the next little while what this calling really means. I’m really hoping that we get our new bishop soon, also just to end the speculation that has already started in earnest!

I really liked a story that Elder Giddey shared with us in the adult session. This is my version of his version of the story he heard… J A building contractor was busy at the end of the year, and he had work that was keeping him busy until the builders holidays. A property developer approached him and asked if he could build one extra house before the holiday. He reluctantly agreed, but because of the tight timeframe he chose materials that were adequate, but not the best, and the labour was also adequate, but not his best quality. When it was finished the property developer invited the building contractor to his house for a dinner, and handed the him a set of keys - the house that he had built was now his!

So when we are building our lives we don't want to or have to take shortcuts, because we have access to the Master Architect, and we are building our eternal homes!

At work I’ve been really busy with teaching. Last week I had a very heavy teaching load, but at least the next few weeks aren’t as bad J

We’ve moved the kids rooms around. We’ve put all of the beds into the room next to ours, with Josh and Hannah on the bunk beds and Caleb on the small toddler bed. And then the other room is now a play room, with ALL of the toys in it! The bedroom only has the beds and clothes, and the kids are really loving sleeping together! Caleb has even been sleeping through more often since we did the move J And this was one of many things that fell into place before Andrew’s calling which are all working towards making the calling easier. It’ll be SO much easier doing bedtime with the kids all together! One of the other things is that Andrew finally had an increase on his salary, for the first time in 3 years! And the increase is coming through from this month, as soon as he received the call. Heavenly Father certainly was preparing the way, and to be honest it all had us wondering if there was a change coming…

I handed in the Grade 1 application forms for Josh this morning at Edgemead Primary. I included your name on the cover letter I did – I’m hoping you did us proud, so that will strengthen the application ;) It’s unbelievable to think that things are really coming together for Josh to be going to school so soon!

So as you can tell, our thoughts are rather dominated at the moment… Hopefully next week I’ll have more interesting stuff to tell you ;)

Love you lots!

Shelly

Letter to Richard - 24 February 2014 (start of the semester)

Dear Richard

Well, first week of lectures – done! J And so far things are going well! My class is only just over 100 students, compared to 170 last year, so it’s actually really nice having a smaller group to get to know, and we can be in a smaller, more intimate venue. I think I’m developing a nice relationship with them so far, so so far, so good J But because the class is smaller than we expected I’ve had to do some reshuffling with our teaching hours, and now I’m taking a first year tut as well. I had the first tut this morning, and it was great! I haven’t tutored first year since 2004, so I was a big worried, but it really all went so smoothly J

On Saturday we had a ward activity. It was a picnic on the beach, but the wind was Pumping! So after a while most of us moved to the Dawsons’ and finished our picnic there. It was really nice to socialise with the ward members a bit, and it’s also great to see that so many of our move-ins, especially from Gugulethu, are really blending in so well with the ward. Very heartening J

Sunday we all got together for Dad’s birthday. Can you believe that Dad is 60!?! Just 5 years from retirement now! But it was great to be together, just missing you and Cindy. Andrew and I spoke to Cindy last night though. She’s wanting Andrew to perform her wedding ceremony, so lots of planning there J

I feel like there’s not much to tell this week… Things are getting busy at work – like this week I’m lecturing plus taking a full load of tuts.

But one interesting thing I read this week was from the December Ensign, talking about how we can teach our children to recognise the spirit. And essentially talking about how we all have different learning styles – visual, auditory or kinaesthetic – and so we’re each going to receive revelation differently as well, which makes sense. So someone like Hannah, who we think is more auditory, will feel the spirit in discussions about the gospel and through music. But someone who is more visual will feel it through reading more. And someone who is kinaesthetic will need to be doing things like service. So something to also bear in mind when you’re teaching – you don’t know what your investigators styles are, so you’ve got to use a combination to give them their best chance of feeling the spirit… Interesting thought!

Well, it’s really brief this week, but there wasn’t much that was that different… And we’re heading into a phase that will be like this quite a bit L But I’ll see what I can tell you that’s interesting ;)

Love you

Shelly

Letter to Richard - 17 February 2014 (Caleb's birthday)

Dear Richard

The overwhelming experience this past week has been heat! For those of us here in the much milder Cape this has been intense!!! But there was a build-up of clouds this evening, and the air is a bit cooler, so hopefully it’s going to break soon!

Last week was my last week to take it a bit easier, with lectures starting today. So I did some reading for my Masters, but otherwise also just took some time to do some things for myself, which will be more difficult now. I’m lecturing in one of the venues which has just been upgraded, and we have some space age equipment! The computer and document camera are part of the lectern, and the come out at the push of a button… Pretty cool! My first lecture today went well, and the class is nice and small at only about 90 students J I’m looking forward to a good year!

Saturday was Caleb’s birthday – our baby is 2 years old! It was so sweet to see the kids being really nice to each other all day too J The whole day was really consumed with party preparations, then the party, and then the clean-up. We had what is probably our last party for the family in general (from now on it will really just be parties for the school friends) and everyone except Andrew’s one brother came, even including Andrew’s cousin and his family who have just moved to Cape Town. So 29 people in our little house! But with the heat we spent a good portion in the pool – can you imagine how crowed it was! Thankfully we had also gotten a jumping castle as a special treat for the last party, so the kids quickly decided that that was more fun J I’ll send photos soon hopefully. I’m just so tired out from the heat that even doing this letter is a major thing!

Second Sunday School lesson yesterday, and this time I got every single person who was there to say at least one thing J I think it went really nicely in general. It was an interesting experience, because the lesson was on the Abrahamic covenant, and although I had prepared all week, it was still as I was presenting the lesson that some things fell into place for me. So I guess that was the Spirit working J It just reminded me then of the talk by Elder McConkie this last conference on teaching where he quoted someone who said they always know when they are teaching by the spirit because they learn something from what they’ve said. And I had that experience yesterday! I feel like I have a decent understanding of the Abrahamic covenant for the first time! This is exactly what I was looking forward to with this teaching calling J

And I had a nice afternoon yesterday with Joshua, while Hannah and Caleb had their afternoon sleep. Josh somehow switched on the audio files of general conference on my tablet while we were getting to the car to leave church. Firstly he recognized it as conference, and then he put on a Sunday game. But the two noises were too much for me with everything else going on so I was going to switch off the conference. But he said he wanted to rather listen to conference than to play his game! What a special boy J And then when we came home he wanted to actually watch conference! Hopefully a good sign of things to come ;) So I got to watch nearly an hour of conference! And for the first while he was watching with, and then he played quietly next to me, but he wanted the conference to be on!

So that’s about it. I must say I’m feeling overall weary… We’ve also been sleeping badly ourselves, plus being woken up by the kids. So the overall combination is not fun L But hopefully cooler weather is on its way!

Have a good week J

Shelly

Letter to Richard - 10 February 2014

Dear Richard

So Caleb’s first week went amazingly well! After the bit of tears on the first morning he hasn’t cried once since! Every morning he’s walked into his class, puts his bag in his locker, gives me a kiss and then goes to the carpet to join the other kids. So amazing! I couldn’t be a happier mom J And all of the teachers just love him, but that’s his sparkly personality for you! One of the only sad things is that we’re really losing our baby now. Even his hands and feet aren’t as soft as they were L But it’s all part of growing up, and at least we got to really enjoy him as a baby!

Joshua’s teacher has identified very early on what we’ve also noticed about him, that he’s a perfectionist. So now we have to work on helping him to realise that he doesn’t have to have everything perfect. He’s at school to learn because he doesn’t know everything, and he’s allowed to make mistakes. Kind of like how life works J

At work I’ve finished pretty much everything I need to before the semester starts next week. But I’ve also started doing things to get going on my Masters, which I’m wanting to do now. I’ve started reading up about how to actually do a Masters, and then also a bit of reading about the research area I’ll be looking at, of Integrated Reporting. So far so good, although I’m still not feeling wildly excited about it… But as I get more into it, I’ll hopefully have more excitement. Right now it’s more about the fact that I really have to do my Masters. But I’ve also been doing an online speed reading course to try and help me read faster with all of the reading I’m going to have to do!

On Friday we had the family over that we’ve been trying to introduce to the gospel. We had a great time swimming, particularly helping their son to gain confidence – sometimes peer pressure can be a good thing, when it comes to things like helping kids perform their best J But we had a really nice time visiting with them and getting to know them better. Her mom is also struggling with mental illness, so that was also something bond over.

On Saturday we all went to Jesse’s first birthday party, and then I took Hannah to a birthday party for one of her school friends. It was the first party for her class where most of the class was there. So I took the opportunity to try and speak to a whole bunch of parents and get to know them a bit. I’m really not great at socialising and small talk, but I’m trying to get better at it, and it went quite well J And it’s great to see Hannah growing in confidence a bit, although, like Josh, she also takes a while to get comfortable when we first get to a new place like that. But I’d rather have kids that are cautious, hopefully they’re less likely to do things like going off with strangers!

On Saturday we went over the road a bit and Andrew was the only one home. But seeing him with the kids I realised that he really does have a gift with kids. He was helping the kids fix something on their bikes, and he was just saying and doing just the right things, and he has a great imagination J But he says he doesn’t want to have his own kids – he’d rather just be an uncle. We’ll still see what the future brings ;)

My first Sunday School lesson went really well yesterday J  There is a great YSA class right now, and we seemed to have a good chemistry. So there are still a few class members who didn’t say anything, but I’ll try and work on that with time. The lesson was on Noah, and one of the class members made an interesting observation. Most of the time we think that Heavenly Father was quite harsh destroying the whole world. But in fact he was being very merciful to those spirits that were waiting to come to earth. If they had been born into wicked families their chances of breaking out of that cycle are almost non-existent. But by starting over they would have a chance to be born to righteous families.  And that emphasises what an awesome responsibility it is to have children, and to raise them righteously, so that they have their best chance of making good choices themselves! We were certainly blessed to grow up in a home like that! And we’re trying with our kids, but not getting it perfect of course… But I read somewhere recently one of the apostles who said that our efforts in parenting are only a failure if we give up. As long as we keep on trying our efforts are acceptable. So I’m holding onto that ;)

We had our last visit with Shawn yesterday. It’s been really nice having him here. And the kids have gotten on really well. They’ll be sorry to not have Saffie around anymore. We probably won’t see them again for at least 4 years, when my kids will be 9, 7 and 5! Just crazy! And Cindy might even have kids by then :O Crazy!

So that’s about it… One more week until the craziness really starts! So I’m just enjoying the slightly relaxed pace still, although we’re busy planning Caleb’s party for Saturday now… It never stops!

Love you lots J

Shelly

Letter to Richard - 3 February 2014 (Caleb's first day of school)

Dear Richard

Some pretty big events this past week, but for the rest it was pretty normal.

I spent a lot of time during the week trying to help Caleb get comfortable in the Penguin class at school, because today was his first day! So in the morning and afternoon I took him into the class either to just see the class, or interact with the kids, and twice he even at breakfast with the class! By the end of the week he was even willing to leave me very quickly to do something and then come back to me. And then today was the day… Over the weekend we helped him to get fairly excited, and then this morning he was fine while we were getting to school, but then he did the normal crying when we then had to leave. But the teachers said that within a few minutes he was completely fine, and he got involved with dancing to music, and apparently he talked a LOT during the day, which is a sign of a settled child! So we’re really happy so far J

It was quite hectic saying goodbye to Aunty Wendy on Friday though… I’ve been going to her house every school/work day since October 2009, so she really has been a huge part of my life! But what a blessing she has been to us, and now my children all move over to the care of the teachers at the school. And my experience so far at the school has been largely positive, so I’m glad that I can move them over completely with confidence J

Then we found out about Granny with all of the health problems she’s been having, including the minor stroke in the end. I’m glad Mom has gone up to be with her now though, and she is doing better J

And pretty hectic was when we went over the road one day and Hannah went to the toilet and locked herself in! She’s just learning how to turn keys, so she wants to lock and unlock everything she can… But although she managed to lock the door she couldn’t unlock it, and she couldn’t turn the key to the right position to take it out either! I was peering through the key hole trying to tell her which way to turn, but that didn’t work. Eventually I stuck my head sideways through the fanlight window and was able to direct her exactly how to turn it to unlock it. But once we managed to get it unlocked she just collapsed backwards on the floor absolutely exhausted from the whole experience! Hopefully she’s learned a good lesson though!

We had a SUPER hot day last week! Thankfully it worked out nicely to be Friday, so we had everyone over. I love how my kids so enjoy having the family and cousins over. In their prayers on those evenings they’ll say “Thank you that Granny and Aunty Colleen and Amy and Saffie and Aunty Annie (etc) came to swim with us today”. It’s one of their most regular prayer items ;) I love how they enjoy spending time with the family so much, and it’s been so nice having Shawn here – it just feels right J

And then yesterday I was called as the YSA Sunday School teacher! I’m so excited!!! There’s a really nice group of YSA in the ward right now, and I’m also just so excited to be able to study and teach every week! My first class next week… So if all things stay constant I’ll be your teacher when you come home J

In the Sunday School class yesterday we were discussing Enoch, and in my preparation for the class I was really struck by Moses 7:32 (“The Lord said unto Enoch: Behold these thy brethren; they are the workmanship of mine own hands, and I gave unto them their knowledge, in the day I created them; and in the Garden of Eden, gave I unto man his agency”) I was struck by how we’re having that kind of experience already as parents. Although Josh and Hannah are so young we’ve tried to teach them the right things, but in the end, if they really want to do something naughty there is actually nothing we can do to stop them – they do have their agency, and they’re already using it! (Not to say that they’re really naughty – compared to many other kids they’re angels!) It makes you feel very helpless and frustrated, because all of your efforts do nothing… And that is really how Heavenly Father feels as well, but how many times over because of how many children he has across the universes, the magnitude of what some of them do, and just because he is a god! I think it’s something that you can’t understand, even as little as I do now, until you are a parent.  And as Bro Alan, our teacher yesterday, said, there is a good reason why parenthood is such an important step in becoming exalted – because there are lessons you learn as a parent that you don’t learn in any other way… But that being said, there are so many wonderful lessons and experiences as well, and I wouldn’t trade my children for anything!

Well, that’s the main stuff… So quite a momentous week in some ways… And hopefully this week ahead will be good with Caleb settling quickly and Mom being up in Joburg with Granny…

Keep well

Shelly