Letter to Richard - 24 February 2014 (start of the semester)

Dear Richard

Well, first week of lectures – done! J And so far things are going well! My class is only just over 100 students, compared to 170 last year, so it’s actually really nice having a smaller group to get to know, and we can be in a smaller, more intimate venue. I think I’m developing a nice relationship with them so far, so so far, so good J But because the class is smaller than we expected I’ve had to do some reshuffling with our teaching hours, and now I’m taking a first year tut as well. I had the first tut this morning, and it was great! I haven’t tutored first year since 2004, so I was a big worried, but it really all went so smoothly J

On Saturday we had a ward activity. It was a picnic on the beach, but the wind was Pumping! So after a while most of us moved to the Dawsons’ and finished our picnic there. It was really nice to socialise with the ward members a bit, and it’s also great to see that so many of our move-ins, especially from Gugulethu, are really blending in so well with the ward. Very heartening J

Sunday we all got together for Dad’s birthday. Can you believe that Dad is 60!?! Just 5 years from retirement now! But it was great to be together, just missing you and Cindy. Andrew and I spoke to Cindy last night though. She’s wanting Andrew to perform her wedding ceremony, so lots of planning there J

I feel like there’s not much to tell this week… Things are getting busy at work – like this week I’m lecturing plus taking a full load of tuts.

But one interesting thing I read this week was from the December Ensign, talking about how we can teach our children to recognise the spirit. And essentially talking about how we all have different learning styles – visual, auditory or kinaesthetic – and so we’re each going to receive revelation differently as well, which makes sense. So someone like Hannah, who we think is more auditory, will feel the spirit in discussions about the gospel and through music. But someone who is more visual will feel it through reading more. And someone who is kinaesthetic will need to be doing things like service. So something to also bear in mind when you’re teaching – you don’t know what your investigators styles are, so you’ve got to use a combination to give them their best chance of feeling the spirit… Interesting thought!

Well, it’s really brief this week, but there wasn’t much that was that different… And we’re heading into a phase that will be like this quite a bit L But I’ll see what I can tell you that’s interesting ;)

Love you

Shelly

Letter to Richard - 17 February 2014 (Caleb's birthday)

Dear Richard

The overwhelming experience this past week has been heat! For those of us here in the much milder Cape this has been intense!!! But there was a build-up of clouds this evening, and the air is a bit cooler, so hopefully it’s going to break soon!

Last week was my last week to take it a bit easier, with lectures starting today. So I did some reading for my Masters, but otherwise also just took some time to do some things for myself, which will be more difficult now. I’m lecturing in one of the venues which has just been upgraded, and we have some space age equipment! The computer and document camera are part of the lectern, and the come out at the push of a button… Pretty cool! My first lecture today went well, and the class is nice and small at only about 90 students J I’m looking forward to a good year!

Saturday was Caleb’s birthday – our baby is 2 years old! It was so sweet to see the kids being really nice to each other all day too J The whole day was really consumed with party preparations, then the party, and then the clean-up. We had what is probably our last party for the family in general (from now on it will really just be parties for the school friends) and everyone except Andrew’s one brother came, even including Andrew’s cousin and his family who have just moved to Cape Town. So 29 people in our little house! But with the heat we spent a good portion in the pool – can you imagine how crowed it was! Thankfully we had also gotten a jumping castle as a special treat for the last party, so the kids quickly decided that that was more fun J I’ll send photos soon hopefully. I’m just so tired out from the heat that even doing this letter is a major thing!

Second Sunday School lesson yesterday, and this time I got every single person who was there to say at least one thing J I think it went really nicely in general. It was an interesting experience, because the lesson was on the Abrahamic covenant, and although I had prepared all week, it was still as I was presenting the lesson that some things fell into place for me. So I guess that was the Spirit working J It just reminded me then of the talk by Elder McConkie this last conference on teaching where he quoted someone who said they always know when they are teaching by the spirit because they learn something from what they’ve said. And I had that experience yesterday! I feel like I have a decent understanding of the Abrahamic covenant for the first time! This is exactly what I was looking forward to with this teaching calling J

And I had a nice afternoon yesterday with Joshua, while Hannah and Caleb had their afternoon sleep. Josh somehow switched on the audio files of general conference on my tablet while we were getting to the car to leave church. Firstly he recognized it as conference, and then he put on a Sunday game. But the two noises were too much for me with everything else going on so I was going to switch off the conference. But he said he wanted to rather listen to conference than to play his game! What a special boy J And then when we came home he wanted to actually watch conference! Hopefully a good sign of things to come ;) So I got to watch nearly an hour of conference! And for the first while he was watching with, and then he played quietly next to me, but he wanted the conference to be on!

So that’s about it. I must say I’m feeling overall weary… We’ve also been sleeping badly ourselves, plus being woken up by the kids. So the overall combination is not fun L But hopefully cooler weather is on its way!

Have a good week J

Shelly

Letter to Richard - 10 February 2014

Dear Richard

So Caleb’s first week went amazingly well! After the bit of tears on the first morning he hasn’t cried once since! Every morning he’s walked into his class, puts his bag in his locker, gives me a kiss and then goes to the carpet to join the other kids. So amazing! I couldn’t be a happier mom J And all of the teachers just love him, but that’s his sparkly personality for you! One of the only sad things is that we’re really losing our baby now. Even his hands and feet aren’t as soft as they were L But it’s all part of growing up, and at least we got to really enjoy him as a baby!

Joshua’s teacher has identified very early on what we’ve also noticed about him, that he’s a perfectionist. So now we have to work on helping him to realise that he doesn’t have to have everything perfect. He’s at school to learn because he doesn’t know everything, and he’s allowed to make mistakes. Kind of like how life works J

At work I’ve finished pretty much everything I need to before the semester starts next week. But I’ve also started doing things to get going on my Masters, which I’m wanting to do now. I’ve started reading up about how to actually do a Masters, and then also a bit of reading about the research area I’ll be looking at, of Integrated Reporting. So far so good, although I’m still not feeling wildly excited about it… But as I get more into it, I’ll hopefully have more excitement. Right now it’s more about the fact that I really have to do my Masters. But I’ve also been doing an online speed reading course to try and help me read faster with all of the reading I’m going to have to do!

On Friday we had the family over that we’ve been trying to introduce to the gospel. We had a great time swimming, particularly helping their son to gain confidence – sometimes peer pressure can be a good thing, when it comes to things like helping kids perform their best J But we had a really nice time visiting with them and getting to know them better. Her mom is also struggling with mental illness, so that was also something bond over.

On Saturday we all went to Jesse’s first birthday party, and then I took Hannah to a birthday party for one of her school friends. It was the first party for her class where most of the class was there. So I took the opportunity to try and speak to a whole bunch of parents and get to know them a bit. I’m really not great at socialising and small talk, but I’m trying to get better at it, and it went quite well J And it’s great to see Hannah growing in confidence a bit, although, like Josh, she also takes a while to get comfortable when we first get to a new place like that. But I’d rather have kids that are cautious, hopefully they’re less likely to do things like going off with strangers!

On Saturday we went over the road a bit and Andrew was the only one home. But seeing him with the kids I realised that he really does have a gift with kids. He was helping the kids fix something on their bikes, and he was just saying and doing just the right things, and he has a great imagination J But he says he doesn’t want to have his own kids – he’d rather just be an uncle. We’ll still see what the future brings ;)

My first Sunday School lesson went really well yesterday J  There is a great YSA class right now, and we seemed to have a good chemistry. So there are still a few class members who didn’t say anything, but I’ll try and work on that with time. The lesson was on Noah, and one of the class members made an interesting observation. Most of the time we think that Heavenly Father was quite harsh destroying the whole world. But in fact he was being very merciful to those spirits that were waiting to come to earth. If they had been born into wicked families their chances of breaking out of that cycle are almost non-existent. But by starting over they would have a chance to be born to righteous families.  And that emphasises what an awesome responsibility it is to have children, and to raise them righteously, so that they have their best chance of making good choices themselves! We were certainly blessed to grow up in a home like that! And we’re trying with our kids, but not getting it perfect of course… But I read somewhere recently one of the apostles who said that our efforts in parenting are only a failure if we give up. As long as we keep on trying our efforts are acceptable. So I’m holding onto that ;)

We had our last visit with Shawn yesterday. It’s been really nice having him here. And the kids have gotten on really well. They’ll be sorry to not have Saffie around anymore. We probably won’t see them again for at least 4 years, when my kids will be 9, 7 and 5! Just crazy! And Cindy might even have kids by then :O Crazy!

So that’s about it… One more week until the craziness really starts! So I’m just enjoying the slightly relaxed pace still, although we’re busy planning Caleb’s party for Saturday now… It never stops!

Love you lots J

Shelly

Letter to Richard - 3 February 2014 (Caleb's first day of school)

Dear Richard

Some pretty big events this past week, but for the rest it was pretty normal.

I spent a lot of time during the week trying to help Caleb get comfortable in the Penguin class at school, because today was his first day! So in the morning and afternoon I took him into the class either to just see the class, or interact with the kids, and twice he even at breakfast with the class! By the end of the week he was even willing to leave me very quickly to do something and then come back to me. And then today was the day… Over the weekend we helped him to get fairly excited, and then this morning he was fine while we were getting to school, but then he did the normal crying when we then had to leave. But the teachers said that within a few minutes he was completely fine, and he got involved with dancing to music, and apparently he talked a LOT during the day, which is a sign of a settled child! So we’re really happy so far J

It was quite hectic saying goodbye to Aunty Wendy on Friday though… I’ve been going to her house every school/work day since October 2009, so she really has been a huge part of my life! But what a blessing she has been to us, and now my children all move over to the care of the teachers at the school. And my experience so far at the school has been largely positive, so I’m glad that I can move them over completely with confidence J

Then we found out about Granny with all of the health problems she’s been having, including the minor stroke in the end. I’m glad Mom has gone up to be with her now though, and she is doing better J

And pretty hectic was when we went over the road one day and Hannah went to the toilet and locked herself in! She’s just learning how to turn keys, so she wants to lock and unlock everything she can… But although she managed to lock the door she couldn’t unlock it, and she couldn’t turn the key to the right position to take it out either! I was peering through the key hole trying to tell her which way to turn, but that didn’t work. Eventually I stuck my head sideways through the fanlight window and was able to direct her exactly how to turn it to unlock it. But once we managed to get it unlocked she just collapsed backwards on the floor absolutely exhausted from the whole experience! Hopefully she’s learned a good lesson though!

We had a SUPER hot day last week! Thankfully it worked out nicely to be Friday, so we had everyone over. I love how my kids so enjoy having the family and cousins over. In their prayers on those evenings they’ll say “Thank you that Granny and Aunty Colleen and Amy and Saffie and Aunty Annie (etc) came to swim with us today”. It’s one of their most regular prayer items ;) I love how they enjoy spending time with the family so much, and it’s been so nice having Shawn here – it just feels right J

And then yesterday I was called as the YSA Sunday School teacher! I’m so excited!!! There’s a really nice group of YSA in the ward right now, and I’m also just so excited to be able to study and teach every week! My first class next week… So if all things stay constant I’ll be your teacher when you come home J

In the Sunday School class yesterday we were discussing Enoch, and in my preparation for the class I was really struck by Moses 7:32 (“The Lord said unto Enoch: Behold these thy brethren; they are the workmanship of mine own hands, and I gave unto them their knowledge, in the day I created them; and in the Garden of Eden, gave I unto man his agency”) I was struck by how we’re having that kind of experience already as parents. Although Josh and Hannah are so young we’ve tried to teach them the right things, but in the end, if they really want to do something naughty there is actually nothing we can do to stop them – they do have their agency, and they’re already using it! (Not to say that they’re really naughty – compared to many other kids they’re angels!) It makes you feel very helpless and frustrated, because all of your efforts do nothing… And that is really how Heavenly Father feels as well, but how many times over because of how many children he has across the universes, the magnitude of what some of them do, and just because he is a god! I think it’s something that you can’t understand, even as little as I do now, until you are a parent.  And as Bro Alan, our teacher yesterday, said, there is a good reason why parenthood is such an important step in becoming exalted – because there are lessons you learn as a parent that you don’t learn in any other way… But that being said, there are so many wonderful lessons and experiences as well, and I wouldn’t trade my children for anything!

Well, that’s the main stuff… So quite a momentous week in some ways… And hopefully this week ahead will be good with Caleb settling quickly and Mom being up in Joburg with Granny…

Keep well

Shelly

Letter to Richard - 27 January 2014

Dear Richard

I have finished all of my marking of the supplementary exams J  I feel like I spent just about my whole week last week marking L But at least it’s all done!

I did take time out to go and visit teach Sis Audrey and Sis Marie though, and we had really nice visits with both of them. I shared the article “His Grace is Sufficient” from the September 2013 Ensign – what an amazing explanation of how grace works! Using the analogy of a child having piano lessons just makes so much sense J And it generated really nice discussions with both of them, although it was very interesting to see how different parts of the message really touched each of them. And it wasn’t just our great visit, it’s been coming for a while, but Sis Marie came to church this past Sunday :D And it was so great how naturally she just fitted in! I think she’ll come again too J

I also took some time to go and have a meeting at a company called Getsmarter, who offer online blended courses. UCT has partnered with them to offer all sorts of courses, including we’re hoping a full online degree in the next few years. But they’re busy exploring an Excel course specifically geared towards auditors, and I’ll probably be the UCT contact person, and do the quality control on the course. So it was mainly an exploratory meeting, but I’m quite excited J

Then we said goodbye to Elder Burton, who has been really instrumental in turning missionary work around in our ward! He’s been serving in our ward for 6 months, first as a zone leader, but then he actually asked the mission president to move the zone leadership elsewhere in the zone so that he could concentrate on missionary work. And what a difference having “full-time” missionaries has made in our ward again, plus having someone like Elder Burton who just loves the work! He was one of those missionaries that you felt you could really trust to help things move forward. Like with our friends we felt that we could actually trust that he would do his absolute best, and then if they choose not to accept the gospel it really is their choice, and not because the missionaries weren’t doing their absolute best (unfortunately we haven’t had missionaries that we really felt we could trust for a while L) But it was a wonderful experience having him here, and the whole ward really came to love him. He’s also a very humble person, who you can tell just really wants to be righteous. So inspiring! But he’s back home now, and the new missionary came to meet us, and he also seems pretty solid. So hopefully between Elder Burton’s companion that he helped to really train well, and our new missionary things will keep on moving forward! But it’s been a real example to me of how important it is for a ward to trust the missionaries! Don’t ever do anything to lose the trust of the members!!! But I’m sure you’re more along the lines of Elder Burton ;)

We attended a parents meeting at the school last week, where they told us all the things about how the classes work etc. Grade R is hectic! Josh is going to be getting real homework! And really what they’re doing in Grade R now is what we all did in Grade 1. Hectic!

We had a nice braai on Saturday at Uncle Ron’s house, to celebrate his and Mom’s birthdays, and also to spend some time with Shawn and Annie. A really nice afternoon, and it was great to see how our kids played so nicely with Saffie! And then to see how she was so happy to go to Nursery on Sunday because she had some familiar faces J And Cindy phoned us while we were all together to tell us she’s engaged… So interesting times ahead!

I’ve been attending the Elders Quorum the last few weeks to give feedback on the lessons. Leon was giving his first lesson yesterday, which he did really well in. But there were some interesting comments made, mainly by Sam. The lesson was based on the talk “Be Meek and Lowly in Heart” from the October conference, and when they were talking about humility, they were saying that humility isn’t the same as humiliating ourselves, ie telling people all the time that we’re not perfect. It’s about recognising that we have failings, and then doing what we need to to change and repent. Also when talking about meekness they said that if we’re not meek we might ask God to help us sort something out, but we’re actually planning on fixing it ourselves. So we’re not recognising our dependence on Him. Then our faith is vain, because it’s actually pointless. We’re not really expecting Him to help us. Very interesting insights!

And so that’s about it. Caleb has just 1 week left at Aunty Wendy, and this week I’m planning on taking him to the school every day to make sure he’s getting comfortable and familiar. I’m getting things ready for the semester now, although we still have 3 weeks till the students come back, because the calendar is all strange this year (no complaints though J) So exciting and busy times!

Love

Shelly

Letter to Richard - 20 January 2014 (at last!)

Dear Richard

I did SO well last year with writing to you just about every week! And now it’s been practically a month L But it is an indication of how hectic things have been… Veronica was off for 3 weeks over Christmas and New Year, so we were having to do all of the house work, and in my normal time to write to you each week (Monday evening) we were hectically busy doing things like having an ironing marathon, where Andrew and I both ironed for nearly 2 hours! And last Monday we were over to Fish Hoek because Sarah was getting baptised on her 8^th birthday. So although the baptism was finished by 6:00 because it was a Monday, it still meant a late night home. But it was really special to see her getting baptised, and it was great to hear our kids getting all excited about when they get baptised themselves J

After Christmas we had another 2 weeks of holiday before the kids went back to school, and so we did lots of holiday stuff which the kids enjoyed. We also did quite a bit in our garden, and we’ve had some beans and 2 strawberries from what we had planted before. We’re quite enjoying trying to get our garden going J The kids are loving their swimming again this year, and Caleb is doing all the crazy things that the others are doing, like jumping into the pool, and wanting to be taken down to the dolphin. Crazy kid J But it’s great to see his development! And Josh can now swim down to the dolphin without help!

The new year has brought all sorts of changes for the kids. Hannah has moved up to Primary and has changed to a new class at school for the first time, after 18 months in the first class, so she has struggled a bit to settle with all the changes at once, but it will come soon. Joshua is now in the preschool class which has been his best move ever! No tears a single morning, which is mammoth!!! Caleb very quickly decided that he didn’t want to be at Aunty Wendy anymore now that Amy and the other older kids have all moved to the school… He was just getting bored, so we’ve decided to move him to the school from 1 February, instead of waiting to April, because he is just so ready J My work is pretty much the same, except that I’m doing things for the second time round this year for the most part, which definitely makes it a bit easier J

We had Andrew’s cousin, Bernard, staying with us for a couple of weeks. He’s from Joburg, and he was working in Cape Town on a contract. He’s back in Joburg now, finishing his contract from home (he’s a programmer), but they’re busying looking for a place to stay in Cape Town, and the plan is that he, his wife, and 2 sons will move down in February. It was an interesting experience having someone staying with us, but a good one for us, on the whole. And the kids just love Uncle Bernard! He’s also got a son named Joshua Herbert who’s about a year older than our Josh (we didn’t know that when we chose Joshua’s name…) so if they end up in our ward it will be quite hectic having 2 Joshua Herberts in Primary!

The kids have really been enjoying having Andrew back with Mom and Dad. He’s been inviting the kids over to watch movies with him, he comes to swim with them whenever he’s home, and on Sundays we’ve been going there and he’s playing nicely with the kids. The new game with Josh is that they set up the little army guys and then use blocks as ammunition and have a battle… Joshua’s really enjoying it! But it’s just been so amazing seeing how much Andrew is becoming part of the family in a way that he wasn’t when he was at home before J

I don’t know if you remember back in September we had the missionaries helping our friends move? Well the one missionary, Elder Burton, is going home this transfer, and I felt that it would be a good idea if they stopped by and just tried to make contact before he left. Well they did, and they got an appointment, and this evening I went with them to go and have a first appointment/lesson/meeting with the family!! :D It’s interesting to see how missionary work has changed over the years (it’s my first time out with the missionaries in a few years) and I think the current approach that I’m seeing is really great. They worked today on building a relationship of trust, and then spoke a bit about having a gospel message, and the way their lives are blessed by the gospel, left the restoration pamphlet for them to read, and then have another appointment with them for Saturday. It was so great to be involved! I don’t know how far it will go, but for now the mom at least is very open to the gospel message J We also had 2 baptisms for the ward yesterday – the husband and wife of a sister who got baptised a year or so ago. It’s been an interesting journey for them, but they’re now baptised!

I’m busy looking at my journal to see what’s happened over the last month, and it’s amazing how many times I mentioned having a bad night’s sleep! Caleb especially is sleeping pretty badly, and Hannah a bit as well. It’s actually amazing that we’re walking! But we’ve worked out a proper schedule for ourselves in the mornings, and so far we’ve gotten the kids to school on time each morning, even though we’re so tired! Progress, one step at a time J

So that’s the short version of the last month… It’s so great to hear that you’re enjoying your new area. We’re wishing you lots of success J

Love you lots!

Shelly

Our beautiful family!