Letter to Richard - 26 January 2015 (Start of Grade 1)

Dear Richard

Life is very different now to what it was a week ago! Josh has now started school, and he’s busy settling in, and life is pretty much back to normal, or our new normal anyway.

So Josh was having that tooth filled last week. When they finished they said that Josh was very active during the procedure while he was sedated. When his subconscious kicks in he apparently gets very restless, which is probably also linked to how he is an active learner and his body learns from doing things. Very interesting… But that is over, although the dentist had to go deeper than she had expected, and the nerve is still alive at this stage, but we need to watch it, and he might have to have the tooth removed if the nerve dies :(

And then on to the first day of school! We managed to get away really nice and early and we dropped Hannah and Caleb first and then walked Josh down. Josh was pretty excited to be in his uniform, and he enjoyed clumping his shoes all over the wooden floor and making a noise ;) We got to go into his classroom for a bit first and take photos etc, but it was actually too long for Josh, and his anxiety just got worse. It would have been better for him if he had just got straight into things. But one day we’ll learn that and prepare for it. For some reason I keep on forgetting that! :( So when it was time to leave he started crying. And it was just too much for me, and I was emotional too. And I had a terrible morning, after leaving him like that. But when I fetched him he had had a good day. And the rest of the week there were similar tears each morning. It didn’t help that he got sick as well, but I think that’s linked to how stressed he was feeling. On Friday when I fetch him he said that I need to go quickly to the gate when I leave him at the class because he stops crying when I get to the gate, so I should go quickly so that he can stop crying quicker. I asked him if that means I must leave him sooner, and he never really answered that question, but at least he’s identifying that he can do this :)

And today, Monday, was quite a bit better! He still needed me to stay and give him over to his teacher, but I didn’t have to hug him in the line, and instead of bawling, he just had a few tears to wipe away. A huge improvement! And aftercare has also been a bit of an adjustment for him. But I think he’s getting into it. And the great thing is to hear that he is starting to confidently be able to tell me how things work. And I know that once he knows the system he can start feeling comfortable being in a place, because he won’t feel unsure of how to do things. So we’re getting there!

I haven’t been able to get down to working on my research yet properly, because of having Josh with me the whole time, and then Caleb has come down with German measles so I’m having to keep him at home. This week I really need to get going! I did meet with my supervisor though and I’m feeling happy with where I go for the next bit. Now I just need to actually get some work done!

One highlight of last week was that the one evening we forgot to put a nappy on Caleb at bed time, and when he woke up his bed was still dry :) He is dry most nights, but we haven’t been brave enough to take his nappy off completely. But we’re nearly there! And then that is the end of our nappy journey, after nearly 7 years solid!

Because of Caleb’s German measles, and Joshua’s sinuses being a problem Andrew kept them both home. And in fact, Jesse also has the German measles and Rohan stayed with him. So the back pew was a girls-only club this week :) And Hannah and Amy really enjoyed having no boys around, I think ;) Caleb and Jesse are the two that are most disruptive, so I must be honest that it was a pleasure to be able to be far more attentive that usual :)

My class went really nicely this week. The class has been growing recently, although there are a number of people leaving for various reasons :( And we’ve been having really nice discussions. This lesson was on John the Baptist, his mission, and the baptism of Jesus Christ, and then also on the temptations of Jesus Christ. And we had an interesting discussion on why Jesus needed to have the experience of fasting for 40 days, and then being tempted like He was, before He started His ministry. So it came out that after that level of being weakened and then facing temptation He could probably handle most of the hardships of His ministry, other than the actual atonement, and then also the fact that He would actually be able to relate to the people, and they could relate to Him, if He had gone through the same temptations that they had. And if He could resist them, then it is possible for us to resist them. This was the first discussion that Jean-Jacq voluntarily contributed to ;) So there’s progress!

And for home evening I used the talk by Pres Uchtdorf from the April 2014 conference, Grateful in any Circumstance, to try and help Josh especially to focus on the positives in his life, despite the hard things he’s needing to do right now. I think I made some impact, but we’ll have to really see how it goes.

So that’s pretty much our week. We’re definitely into a different age and stage now, with going to big school. Even the traffic in the morning is a different experience now… But it’s all part of growing up, and it’s exciting to be a part of!

Love you lots!

Shelly

Letter to Richard - 20 January 2015

Dear Richard

This is the last week of real holiday that is now finished. Josh goes to school tomorrow and then life will be completely back to normal. But I think I've made the holiday fun, but I think he's also more or less ready to go to school tomorrow. We've got all of his uniform and stationery marked and ready, and when he helped me pack his bag this morning I think it was mainly excitement. Right now I'm actually in the waiting room at the dentist while Josh has a filling done. He's been sedated so I just have to sit and wait...

But on to the rest of the week. I had a few play dates for the kids, with friends visiting us and Josh going to play with the other Joshua Herbert. And then I took Josh to Ratanga Junction for the day as well. He was nervous of going on any rides at all, but I got him to go on quite a number in the end, and in the end I couldn't get him to leave!

Andrew took the day off on Friday and we kept Hannah and Caleb home from school for the day. We took the kids to the beach at Small Bay with the park, and for the first time ever really we had  the kids really playing in the waves and having an absolute ball. It was also really the first time they've worn their swimming costumes at the beach, and it was like it gave them licence to play in a way that they never had before! It's amazing how wearing certain clothes completely changes how you feel in different locations. And that applies in so many settings in life...

I finally realised this week one of the reasons that there are some things that we just don't seem to get to ever. We needed to actually write down what we want to achieve and then be able to tick off as we do them. So our new list includes things like sorting our food cupboard and the shelves, and doing filing, and also things like sanding and varnishing the skirting and window frames.

The kids are getting generally better behaved at church, and this past week Bro Bothwell actually came to me afterwards and complimented the kids on their behaviour! Such a pleasant change :)

I assume Mom has told you about Sis Cerff and her fall. I gave Sis Pam a lift to go and visit her last Sunday, and then this week I sat with Sis Cerff a bit so that Sis Pam could go and do some shopping. It's been good to be able to give service, but it's also so difficult to know what to do to help at times :(

And now on to the big week. Probably one of the biggest weeks of Joshua's life!

Love you lots
Shelly

Letter to Richard - 12 January 2015

Dear Richard

Life is starting to get back to normal a bit now… Hannah and Caleb went back to school on Tuesday last week, although Josh is still at home with me until next week. Hannah and Caleb have for the most part been very happy to be at school again. Caleb is in the same class, but now he’s the most experienced in the class, so he’s taken on a leadership role. Hannah is in a new class, and she’s really enjoying the experience so far :)

Josh and I have been pretty busy. He’s had to come with me to do all of the usual business stuff, like the groceries, going to gym and going to the chiropractor. But we’ve also been able to do some fun things like playing games, going to the park, and tomorrow we’re having 2 of his friends over for the day. And there’s also the last bit of getting ready for school to start! We’ve marked all of his stationery, but we still need to mark all of his uniform items and make sure they’re washed and ironed. The school sent us a count-down calendar, with activities to do every day leading up to school starting, including things like getting your uniform ready, learning mom or dad’s phone number, doing a puzzle, practicing Humpty Dumpty etc. But for a few things I’ve had to speak to Josh about how it’s not necessary to be perfect, he’s allowed to make mistakes, but he needs to keep trying… He seems to be hearing the message better when I speak to him, but he forgets in between :( But as long as he is being told often, hopefully he’ll eventually internalise it! It was also interesting though when I tried to teach him my phone number. At first I tried teaching him a little jingle with my number, but he just wasn’t interested really. But when I eventually got him to look at the pattern that the numbers make on the phone when you’re dialling, and got him to dial it himself then he remembered it, and now he can give it to me with hardly thinking! It was very interesting to see the different learning styles coming out. And now that we know that about Josh we can try and use that to our advantage a bit more :)

One of Joshua’s favourite things still is playing with Lego though. And one of the days we had the kids tidying up before bed, and he had to do the last pile of Lego on his own. So he decides to put all of the pieces together so he could pick them up together. And he ended up building a really cool rocket. I’ve come to the conclusion that there are some things that he can build with almost any combination of pieces! But he really loves being creative and building all sorts of interesting things :)

Cindy and Dom left during the week, but first they looked after the kids for us, so that we could go for some time alone. We spent part of the time choosing a new couch! It still has to be made, so we’ll probably only get it shortly before you get home, but we also then bought a single chair and a lady at Andrew’s work is making a slip-cover for us. So our lounge will be quite different :)

Saturday was the start of the hectic party scene for us again! I took Josh to a cool tobogganing party in the morning, and then Caleb to a party in the afternoon. And Hannah was invited to the ballet with one of her good friends as well! I’m just SO glad that it worked out that each child had something special to do! Josh was a bit nervous about going down fast in the toboggan, but he really got into it, wanting to control the speed himself and go faster for our last 2 rides, and he’s very keen to go to Ratanga Junction now! I’ve created an adrenaline junkie! And Hannah enjoyed her ballet, and she was acting like such a little madam when she got home, she obviously enjoyed the girlie outing ;) But apparently the parents of her friend like having Hannah around, because she’s a calming influence on Caitlin. Our daughter, Hannah…?!? ;) But it’s good to know!

Busy, busy, busy… But that’s life, isn’t it ;) And at least it’s busy in a good way!

Love you lots!

Shelly

Letter to Richard - 5 January 2015 (Christmas and New Year)

5 January 2015

Dear Richard

I’m embarrassed to say that I didn’t write to you last week (because I took Josh on a tug boat ride when I normally write to you) and I didn’t even realise that I had missed! Things have been so crazy that I just didn’t realise that the week had passed and I didn’t write to you :-o But in my defence we did speak to you on the phone, so I guess I had had my communication in my mind ;)

But it’s been a few weeks of holiday, so everything has been out of routine. I think the kids have had a good holiday. Hannah and Caleb are going back to school tomorrow, and I think they have mixed feelings. They’re happy to go back, but of course they aren’t happy that Josh isn’t going back yet… But I’ll fetch them a bit earlier than usual at least most of the days, so hopefully they’ll be okay. It will be very good for them to get back to routine though!

I had an interesting experience before Christmas. Dad asked me to help dressing the body of a lady that died. I didn’t know her, and it was my first time even being close to a dead body, let alone handling it. But I’m glad I’ve had the experience now, before I’m asked to do something with someone I know, like Sister Cerff. And it was wonderful to see the transformation in the body as she was gradually covered in the clothes and temple robes. And the Spirit was definitely there. Overall a positive experience, but not one that I’d want to have too often…

Christmas was great. We opened presents with my family and then we went over to Fish Hoek to spend the rest of the day with Andrew’s family. The kids got some great gifts, and the few days after Christmas they really enjoyed playing with all of their different gifts. It’s gratifying to see that the right gifts were chosen for them :) And of course we got to speak to you, which was great!

I taught my last lesson from the Old Testament, and my first one from the New Testament over the last 2 weeks. I enjoyed the Old Testament much more than I ever have before, but that’s what happens when you teach! And I’m SO looking forward to doing the New Testament this year and learning more about the life of the Saviour in this level of detail :D

I took the kids to spend some of their own money for the first time ever. It was interesting to see Josh and Hannah start to see that there are choices to be made, and Caleb saw some little frogs, and he was adamant that he wanted those! A very interesting experience!

Josh really enjoyed the tug boat ride. He was a bit nervous about it initially, because he didn’t know what to expect. But he was full of questions, as always, and I enjoy being with him when he’s having a new experience and asking all of his questions. I love seeing his enquiring mind J Hopefully he’ll carry on with that habit!

For New Year’s Eve we went to the Birds and spent some time with some ward members. Our kids are at a great age for playing with other kids and really being able to interact well. And it’s so great to see them playing so nicely! On New Year’s Day we had Andrew’s family over for a braai. Wayne and Louise were down, so it was a really full house, but the kids just love Wayne especially. They were all playing around in the pool, and Wayne is like a big kid, and completely full of nonsense! My kids now know how to do bomb drops, how to make waves in the pool, and how to just generally have a ball! So it was a lot of fun all round, and great to also just watch and observe :) And then on Saturday we went over to Fish Hoek and had our second Christmas dinner gathering, this time with Andrew’s entire family (28 now, spanning 4 generations). Special times :)

I’ve done quite a bit of family history over the last week or so as well, and Cindy and Dom are going to have lots of baptisms to do when they get home!

And that’s the main stuff over the last 2 weeks. Life is going to get a bit more back to normal now, which will be good! But it’s going to take me a while to really get back to some kind of routine because of being on sabbatical and having Josh with me initially. But at least there is a hint of normality coming! As much as I love the holidays, and each year it gets easier for me with the kids, I do like to have a routine.

Love you lots!

Shelly

Letter to Richard - 22 December 2014

Dear Richard

Christmas is upon us! It’s been a week of Christmas preparations, but also nice holiday family time. Andrew and I were both on leave last week, so we got to do lots of things with the kids, but also lots of housework that we don’t usually have to do. But it was good! What’s been quite nice also is that I’ve managed to carry on going to gym regularly. It’s the first time ever that I’ve been able to carry on going to gym during the December holiday, but the kids are older now, so I’m happier to impose on someone to look after them for me for a bit :)

One funny thing was that we had the Elders ring our doorbell one afternoon. I saw them at the gate, so I just opened the gate without speaking over the intercom, and then when they got around the corner to the front door it was “Oh, it’s you!” They were out tracting and hadn’t realised that we lived here. It was so funny! But we had a nice little visit with them and then they went off to do some service for the Cerffs.

We all went to the dentist on Friday morning, and it was interesting to see how the kids handled it. Very telling of their personalities, I think ;) They all wanted us to go first, so they got to see both Andrew and I sitting in the chair. Then Caleb volunteered to go next! It was his first time ever at the dentist, so it was amazing that he was so willing. I sat in the chair and he sat on my lap. Then Josh still didn’t want to go, but Hannah was willing to go, and she sat on her own in the chair very bravely. Last year she wouldn’t open her mouth, but this year she was great! Then Josh was finally willing to sit in the chair, but he wanted me to sit with him. He was happy to open his mouth and do everything that he needed to do, but he wanted that bit of security of having me there. He also has a small cavity developing in a tooth that he’ll likely have for a few more years, so we need to go back in the new year to have that sorted out. But nothing too serious really for any of us :)

The kids are really enjoyed having Cindy and Dom here, well we all are. We’ve had them with us quite a bit. We all went to the beach on Saturday, which they love sharing with Cindy, Dom, Granny and Grandpa.

We had a cool home evening lesson yesterday. I found some cut-outs with the characters of the Nativity story, and then while I read the story from the scripture stories the kids moved the cut-outs to act out the story. I was hoping to help them make the story real in their minds, and I think they enjoyed it :)

We also then took the kids to see the Christmas lights last night, and they’re just so excited about anything new and exciting, it’s so lovely to see their enthusiasm and share it!

And now it’s the final countdown to Christmas, and our last call to you as well. It’s going to be a great week!

Love you

Shelly

Letter to Richard - 15 December 2014 (start of the holidays)

15 December 2014

Dear Richard

Christmas is just about upon us! As of Friday I’m on leave, and actually I’m on leave from teaching until June 2015! When I was closing up my office on Friday it meant taking all of the food, water bottles and plants home that I’ve got there. Quite a substantial feeling! I’ll still be going in during my sabbatical, but I’ll be mainly at home, so this will become my office for the 6 months.

I spent time working on my topic and research question for my masters, and also building an excel workbook that the Head of Department asked me to develop. Then it was also our year end function on Friday afternoon, and on Thursday we had the Christmas party for the kids at my work. The party was in the morning, so I ended up having the kids with me for the whole day, because of course they wouldn’t want to go back to school for the afternoon… But they had lots of fun, and I actually then took them afterwards to my friend’s house to meet her new puppy and to have a swim in her pool. A really fun day! Then I took Josh to see the aftercare at the school, where I’ve been able to arrange for him to go next year as well.

But the big thing last week was really Joshua having his last day at his school. He’s been at that school for 4 years, so it really is a big thing for him to move on now. But he’s definitely ready! Because I know that he’ll be coming back very often next year I wasn’t too emotional, and I think he’s fine too. It’s going to be really hard for me when Caleb finishes off!

We’re nearing the end of the New Testament stories now, and we’ve been reading about the Easter week. It’s been so nice reading with the kids about things like the crucifixion, but then being able to discuss how even though bad people killed Jesus he’s stronger and more powerful than them, so He was able to come alive again, and Satan will never win! I’m really looking forward to teaching the New Testament next year, and having lots of opportunities to discuss it :) But then I am just loving teaching my class and teaching from the scriptures in general :D The other day I had been preparing my lesson on Daniel, Shadrech etc, and Esther and I was sitting at the table with the kids while they ate supper (Andrew was out somewhere) and I was telling them the stories. Hannah especially was riveted! But all 3 of them were really fascinated, and it was so nice to be able to discuss with them :)

Saturday was busy, with all 3 kids being invited to Josh’s best friend’s birthday party, and then the ward Christmas party. Way too much junk food for the day! But the kids had fun ;) And then on Sunday, with Cindy arriving home, we had a small party as a family. So you can just imagine how the kids were by the end of that! But they were so excited to have Cindy and Dom here! We were all supposed to go over at 4:00, and we delayed them as long as possible, but eventually at 3:20 we couldn’t anymore! Just imagine how they’re going to be when you’re coming home!

And then today was the first day of holiday, and so far so good :) I think this holiday is going to be easier than the previous ones, and they’ll get progressively easier from here, but here’s hoping it carries on well ;)

Love you lots

Shelly

Letter to Richard - 8 December 2014

Dear Richard

Things are starting to slow down, which is MUCH needed! Work is definitely slowing down, to the extent that on Thursday I actually didn’t even go to work because I had so many personal things to do, but that was okay! We got all of our visiting teaching done in the afternoon, and I was visited in the afternoon (which means that all of my 2014 visiting teaching is all done :) ) and then saw an accounting client and I also got uniform stuff for Joshua – I only need to get shoes for him, and then he’s all kitted out! And he’s in the yellow house, so different to all of you guys… And we also went for our annual biokineticist assessment.

The big event was a Teaching and Learning conference on Friday. I presented on a similar thing to the T&L conference in October, and it went well again. I got some very positive feedback, and this time the conference was a national one, so there were 100 or so delegates from universities all over the country, so that was very gratifying :) And Ilse, my friend, was the one who organised the entire conference, and it went amazingly well! Everyone was very impressed :)

Saturday morning was the kids’ swimming gala, and they all did great, especially Josh! Hannah and Caleb both cried about going into the water, because it was colder than the water they’re used to swimming in at home or at their lessons. But they did their swims anyway. And Josh just jumped in and swam when he needed to, and he did well! His teacher actually wants to move him to the school pool for his lessons from January. That’s going to make life challenging, but he’s ready! I can definitely see that he’s ready for Grade 1 now, which is so wonderful :)

The only bad things really from last year were the continuous blackouts, which are apparently going to be with us for a few years at least, and then the lady that we had arranged for Joshua’s aftercare told us that she can’t have him anymore. At this late stage that’s not at all ideal, but things have always worked out for the best for us and our children, and we had been having doubts about it being the right place for Josh, so it was a blessing that she took the decision out of our hands. So now it’s figuring out what’s best and what Heavenly Father wants for our family.

Yesterday we did our family home evening lesson on manners and respect. We’re trying to teach the kids more respect, and with a 2 year old who is very strong-willed it is very challenging, but I think he’s old enough now that we can really start reasoning with him, and getting through to all the kids more effectively. The really fun thing yesterday though was having most of Andrew’s family, and Mom and Dad, over for a carols evening, similar to the ones we’ve gone to in Simon’s Town in the past. It was the first time we’ve done something like that with Andrew’s family, and they all enjoyed it :)

Just 1 week left of school and work, and then we’ll all be on holiday for a bit, and hopefully get some good rest! Good luck with your new companion ;) Exciting times ahead!

Love you

Shelly